Freedom

20 years ago today, Nelson Mandela was released after 27 years in prison in South Africa. He was imprisoned for "sabotage" against the South African government, particularly for his work against apartheid, or segregation. In essence, we was thrown in jail for trying to free his race from oppression. In honor of this anniversary, I'm picking up a copy of Mandela's autobiography, "Long Walk to Freedom" from the library this afternoon.

I don't know what it is like to be in prison. I don't know what it is like to be a prisoner in my own country. But, in some way I do know what it is like to be a prisoner. I know what it is like to be held hostage by sin and shame. And I know the relief and joy of being set free. I know the struggle that I went through to get free and the daily fight that it takes to stay free.

I also know that there are some areas of my life where I'm not free. I'm still be a prisoner of finding the approval of others and of my need to succeed. I still fight to understand that God loves me and will use me even if I'm not perfect. I'm still bound by thinking that God's blessings for me and the church are tied to how good I am. I still need to find freedom.

That's why I'm excited that Parkside is spending 6 weeks to travel together on the road to Freedom. I'm excited to journey with the members of my group together to find where we're captives and to fight for our freedom and the freedom of others.

Pressure

Facebook is supposed to be a fun way to connect with people and waste some time, right? No hassles, no negativity, connecting with old friends and communicating with new.

So, I got an "Old Friends" request from one of my cousins today. Let me share with you the text that accompanied the request:

Emily sent you an image on Old Friends. Want to see the image? Click Yes if you want to see the image, otherwise click No. But you have to click! Please respond or Emily may think you said No :(

Really? Some application on Facebook is going to try to guilt me into accepting it? That's just unacceptable. As if there weren't enough things in the world that try to pressure or guilt you into action, my social networking site has to do it too?

I don't know about you, but if you're trying to guilt me into something, I'm not doing it. I've got enough struggles with actual guilt, nevertheless dealing with some manufactured guilt. When I see abused animals on TV or starving children or dirty rivers and then I hear a voiceover telling me that I have a responsibility to help I completely shut down. That isn't because I don't care. I care deeply, but I can't stand being guilted.

Far too often this is how the church operates. It makes people feel bad and offers them a way to feel better. What could be further from the message Jesus offered?

It's God's job to judge, not ours.

It's the Holy Spirit's job to convict, not ours.

It's our job to love.

Seeds

Elijah is staying with a widow and her son. The son dies. The woman blames God, Elijah & herself.

"What do you have against me, man of God? Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?"

Sin. Guilt. Shame. They crop up and creep in whenever something bad happens. Whether right or wrong, they point fingers at us. They make us less than what we are, less than what we are created to be. They are the seeds of distrust, envy and bitterness.

Mud

Love God and Love People. That is what we are called to do.

Sin rails against both of these. The classical definition of sin says that it is the violation of a moral or religious command. If we're trying to love God, it becomes obvious how violating what He's all about would be problematic.

Sin and people is a little bit murkier, muddier and more painful. There are times when we sin against someone - we gossip, we offend, we abuse. These are painful, but for the most part clean-cut and obvious. Both parties know something wrong happened. One person must repent and one must forgive. Hard but simple.

There are other times when sin tears people apart tangentially. Sin isn't just a wrong. It is a stain and a scar that tears deep into the fabric of our being. It doesn't just harm those we've sinned against, it harms us. We find ourselves guilty. Obviously, painfully guilty. We know that we've messed up someone's life and that just sucks. Even if we go through the divine process of finding forgiveness with God and then the painful process of repentance and seeking forgiveness of those we've wronged we're still left with the lingering, debilitating problem of shame.

Shame tells us not that we've done evil, but that we are evil. Not that we have messed up, but that we are messed up. Not that we've done wrong, but that in some way we ourselves are wrong. We don't measure up, we're not perfect, we're not worthy, we're not good enough,

We can fight these feelings, we can work through them and deal with them, but some part of our psyche makes them nearly impossible to eradicate. When we meet new people, when we are in tough situations, when we are stressed and worried those shame statements come creeping in - they speak up and tell us to run, to hide, to retreat, to embellish, to deflect, to lie. There's no way they will accept you. (Not if they knew.) There's no way they'll understand. (Don't bother trying.) You're not good enough. (Not anymore.) I can't tell them the truth. (That's not what they want to hear.)

These thoughts and feelings push people away from us. They cause us to create masks, false identities that we hide behind as we try to get by. They keep us from letting people truly get close, they keep us isolated and alone - vulnerable and weak. We rely on false intimacy and fake relationships to get through the day while the whole time we are scared that someone will find out and everything will come crashing down around us.

That's not a life, it's a collision course with disaster.

Unfortunately the church not only allows it to happen, we foster it. We put up false fronts and pretend to have it all together. We hide our own warts and imperfections, bury our past sins and smooth over our faults. When someone does have the courage to admit a mistake or more likely when someone's mask falls off we rush to "fix" them, to correct the problem to make everything status quo once again - always teetering on the brink wondering which gust of truth will send things crashing down.

What if we all just admitted we've crashed already? What if we were the place where past failure was a badge of honor, a purple heart that shows where we've come from? What if sinners were more welcome in our midst than Pharisees? What if we loved people the way Jesus did? What if we loved like we've been commanded?

That would be loving God by loving People.