BFF

For a long time I've heard people talk about "the great reward" and being welcomed by Jesus in the afterlife. Most of the time these talks include Jesus saying the words, "Well, done my good and faithful servant" or something to that effect. As of today, I disagree.

In John 15:15 Jesus says to the disciples, "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."

The more I know God, the less what I do feels like work. The more my heart understands His heart, the easier it is to love others. The more I give to Him, the less I need for myself. The more I let go of myself, the less I feel like a slave.

When I get to the great hereafter, I'm not looking forward to some distant heavenly stranger approving my good deeds with a nod and a ceremonial pronouncement. I can't see that being fulfilling or worth the effort.

Now, I can't wait to see my friend, my partner, to run to him and feel the embrace that I've missed for so long. To reminisce about the things we did together, to laugh about how wrong I got things and cry about the highs and the lows. To welcome the others who lived out a mission with us and through us. To relax with good friends after a life well lived.

That's not a reward, that's heaven.

Gained

"If I fought wild beasts in Ephesus for merely human reasons, what have I gained?

If I worked my entire life just for a better job or a bigger house or a nicer car or a spoiled family, what have I gained? No matter what we accomplish or how we are acknowledged or who notices it is all for naught if it is the end goal.

I have a box full of medals that really do me no good. I spent hours in the gym to earn them. I sweat and bled and cried for them, but in actuality they are worthless. The last time I pulled them out of that box it was to coax more blood and sweat and tears from others to earn something similar. In some ways it was another waste.

I'd like to think that there was something more the second time around, however. When those medals came out of the box again, it wasn't simply to encourage winning at some silly game. It was about building a bond, creating relationships.

Jesus calls us to Love God and Love People. That starts with a connection to God and a connection to People. It develops into a relationship with God and a relationship with People. It deepens into Love for God and Love for People.

I'd like to think that those medals did serve a greater purpose later on. I'd like to think that they helped some people to connect over a common goal. I'd like to think that they played a small part in building relationship.

I know they helped to teach me about love.

Wasted Life

I have faced it...
A life wasted...
I'm never going back again

I think its every little boy’s dream to live a life that means something, a life that is more than just a statistic - a life that impacts other lives. I know that dream has always been mine. Is it possible that we have this dream because our purpose, the very reason for our creation, screams out from somewhere deep inside of us before we can even realize what that purpose is? Maybe we can’t even really know what that is - until after we have tasted what it cannot be. I’ve been there, I’ve tasted a wasted life that spit in the face of purpose and the whole time the screams got louder and louder. I faced it...

I escaped it...
A Life wasted...
I'm never going back again

Countless times I swiped by badge to let myself into my own three-walled prison cell, separated from the outside world but by ethernet and telephone, lifelines to a world that doesn’t include timecards or spreadsheets. Timecards - a written record of the hours spent wasting my life, my energy, my God-given gifts. Spreadsheets - countless cells filled with data that seems vitally important inside that world, but means nothing. Is this what life is about? Is it worth spending so much time (and realizing it will never be enough)? Is it worth what must be given up? Is it real? Does it make a difference? Is it a waste? Guidance counselors don’t think so. Professors don’t think so. Society doesn’t think so. My boss didn’t think so. I knew. I escaped it...

You’re always saying you’re too weak to be strong...
You’re harder on yourself than just about anyone...
Why swim the channel just to get this far...
Halfway there why would you turn around?
Darkness comes in waves... tell me,
why invite it to stay?

It was supposed to be easy. It was supposed to be fun. It is still work. It is still life. It's still hard. But not a waste. Not empty. Not hollow. Not pointless. Not alone. Not anymore.
 It's a hug and a handshake. It's a hospital room. It's a hammer. It's humanity. It's humane. It's honor. It's humbling. It's hope. It's love. It's truth. It's infinite.
All the paychecks in the world can’t buy the feeling of knowing that your life has meaning - of seeing it on people’s faces and in their eyes - of hearing it in their words and their voices - of feeling it in their embrace and in their hearts. Meaning is more than this world. Its more than right now. Meaning isn’t a waste. Meaning is giving something, the only thing, to those who have nothing - while expecting nothing in return and yet gaining everything.
I’m never going back again

Life Wasted - by Pearl Jam